separation's pain
by jasdevi's secret sissy
Summary: after the battle with krory,the earl chooses to brutalize jasdebi,causing them to need to escape.along the way the are separated,and jasdero,with the help of his new found ally,intend to find his brother,so that they can be free!
1. Chapter 1

**_this is a yaoi!pairings:jasderoxMALEOC devittoxkrory yullen tykixlavi!don't like,don't read!and tellin' ya this now,unless it's constructive critiscism,if you plan on commenting:oh your story sucks"or complaining about how homosexuality is wrong,then i will delete your comment with no regrets!this is my first story,lay off,okay!_**

**_now that that is clear,please enjoy my fanfiction!^^_**

_pain...isolation...brother,where are you?...i am frightened...you promised...DEAR LORD SOMEONE!ANYONE!HELP ME!PLEASE!I WANT OUT! _

_ I __**awaken,my clothes drench in**_** sweat.**I lick my lips,only to find tears have fallen into my mouth.I quickly wipe my face,as I hear foot steps coming.I put on my goofy smile,and brush my hair from my face,and in comes my brother devit.I smile when I see his pout,as he tries to get chicken to listen to him,heehee silly brother!chicken only listens to dero!brother is looking at me strange,then he sits on our bed,and hugs me."hey,jas,what's wrong?"he asks,for a moment I'm confused,until i remember,our bond,we know each others emotions,why do i always forget that?damn,i am a dipshit...brother looks upset"jas!don't think that!"damn bond...i love it,but at times i hate it.i look at him and smile,and he seems put off,but still suspicious,that is,until i tackle him,and lick his face,he squaks,and starts scrubbing his face with his hand,as he grins"you'll pay for that!"he pounces on me,exacting his revenge,by tickling me,and licking me.i start laughing and wrestling,both of us falling and panting,our earlier worries forgotten.

then tyki walked in,followed by road."yo,jasdevi,the earl would like to see you two!"said road we get up and walk past,i hear road say something that chills my bones..._here comes punishment!_

_that was just the beginning..._

_ "So..."comes the sickening sweet voice of the earl,as he rocks back and forth,knitting a sweater of some kind."how many_ times_ has it been,hmm,jasdevi?how many times have you fools failed_ me?"he stabs his needles into the arm of his chair,the thunderous crack causes us to jump.i feel devi enter twine our fingers and squeeze,he's scared,as am i. he tightens his hold,as the earl gayly hops out of his chair,and begins to pace in front of us,and also blocking the door. brother's grip tightens,and before we can react,the earl whirls upon us,slapping me hard enough for me to go air borne,and skid into the many telephones on the floor.i taste blood,and feel the stinging of the bruise forming upon my face,my eyes sting from the unshed the ringing in my ears,i hear devit call out to me,then his own cries of pain,as i see him join me upon the ground.

it didn't end there.

he then began to beat me with the golem into my ribs again,and again,at the same time kicking my stomache with his pointy shoes,i heard devi shouting for him to stop,i just let him beat me.i was the younger one,the weaker one.i deserved long as i take this pain,devi won't have picks me up by my hair,saying that if it hadn't had made such a good handle he would've cut it all uses lero to hold my head up,as he begins pulling my stitches out,one,by,one, blood begins to flow,staining my face and inner mouth with the iron flavored liquid.i hear a catching sound,as i am thrown on to the ground,and pinned to the ground by his heavy shoe.i look up in time to see he has a lit match in his hand.i don't have time to wonder about it,as he drops it on my bare chest,burning me,as he adds match upon match,the room filling with the acrid scent of my burning flesh.i can't hold it in any longer,as he pulled out his blade,burrowing it deep into my stomache,i allow my tears to fall,and my screams to rip from my throat as he twists it to and fro.

through it all i can feel devi's anguish rolling off him in waves.i turn my head to my brother,i attempt to smile through my tears,and try to send feelings of happiness to him,as i imagine us back in our room,tickling each works a little,enough for him to lower his volume,but not by much.i'm picked up off the floor by my hair again,and thrown into the wall,causing the wall to break,and i to fall amongst the rubble.i know most of the damage will be healed very quickly,meaning only that he can continue till he is board,or that fat bastard,he won't get bored very soon,but i wonder,should i be worried?after that hit to the wall,i heard a snap pop sound from my lower spine,and after that,i don't feel my legs. he uses lero to lift my head,as he twists my arm,until i feel it snap,the bone emerging from the skin.i try to make sure not to think about it,so that devi does not get any more was insulting us the whole time,they were the truth.i am nothing.i am worthless. i am .i am unneeded.

by this point,i am on my side,in the fetal keeps going,but then he tries reaching toward me and tries to undo my belt!to this my inner noah finally snaps,and i grab his fist,standing,and throwing him in one move.

then i grab devi's hand and run,we keep running through and outside the ark,and for 2,maybe 3 miles,before my adrenaline depletes itself.i am breathing heavy,as devi is hugging and supporting me from behind."jas,what happened back there?one moment he's beating the shit out of you,then i can't see what he's doing when he bends down,and then BOOM!"he says,slapping his hands for emfices."you throw his fat ass in through the wall!"he's smiling real big,but i can see in his eyes,he wants to know what really happened,but...i can't tell him,i can't tell him what the earl had attempted to do.i just can' was then that i realized it was storming."come on jas,we're getting soaked!"he grabs my wrist,and leads me to a large tree with it's roots exposed,we crawl under,and nestle amongst the roots and dirt.

we lay there,cuddled together,just like we are at is shivering,but has fallen asleep any way.i remove my padded vest,and lay it on 's when my stomache growls loudly. leaving brother for just a moment won't hurt dero!dero's tummy needs food!i reasoned with myself,so i crawled out of our 'shelter' and walk through the forest.i begin to lose track of time,just as i find a blackberry bush,next to a raging river.

i begin to greedily take handfuls of the berries,stuffing them into my mouth till i look like a round cheek chipmunk!i was going for my ninth,or tenth handful,when suddenly,a large wave forces me under the water!

the water snatches me away,abusively sending me under the water,then ripping me back hair tangles,blinding me,choking upon the water,i cough and sputter.i only get a breath,before i am sent under once again,my body bashing in to rocks,yet unable to grab hold of one.i begin to feel as though i can't struggle any longer,noah or not,the brutality shown to my body today,added to the river's revenge makes it where i can no longer move,no longer fight the black that has edged itself to my vision.

just as i am losing myself,i am sent under once again,this time,i feel a harsh smash to my head,and i see spots,and finally,my last thought before i sank below was..._be safe devi..._


	2. the tears and the stranger

**okay,it was a really confusing read last chap because it's jasdero's pov,not to mention he was remembering everything,so things get lost considering how many times he got hit in the to mention,LOTS Of angst in this chapter. please enjoy ^_^!**

**_what_**_ happened...?_my head was pounding,and i was seeing double.i took a second to look around,...WHERE THE FLYING SHIT STAIN AM I?!

I was freaking out.I was still wet,and extremely muddy,but I was in what looked like a canvas tent,under a scratchy 's when I looked done at myself...THE HELL?!My normally grey skin was now a pale,ashy peach,they way it was before I was a noah!i frantically looked around,and found a hand mirror.i looked at my forehead,but strangely enough,my crosses were still there,then i noticed my eyes,they were now a bluish-green,almost turquoise color,they're original color...WHAT THE SHIT CRACK MONKEYS!

dero's scared devi!i reached out to my left side,but grasped 's not here,but i am.I'm all alone...

the thought brings tears to my eyes,as a loneliness more painful than any of the earl's blows settles itself into my tears cascade down my cheeks,and splash upon my up turned ,that voice 's not my inner noah,it comes whenever I'm alone,or when we are yelled at by doesn't seem to know about voice,it scares tells me things,tells me i'm useless,ugly,it berates me upon my own also has me do things...things that,even though no one knows about,because we heal so well,it makes me hurt my self.i cry myself to sleep at times,when i'm not with my brother...

"why are you crying?"

i jump at the voice,having forgotten,that yes,i'm in a unfamiliar place,not at stood a little had tan skin,and light brown was carrying an arm full of multi colored sat herself in front of me,her head tilted to the side, let go of one hand,causing the flowers to fall on my lap,her long twin braids brushing my knee when she bent toward me.i saw now that she had bright blue eyes...just like devi's...before we met the earl...

"please tell me why you are crying."she pleaded wiping my tears with her chubby hands.i cry harder,just because of her eyes.i try to stop them,but they continue,till i'm choking on my wraps her small arms around must i be like this?why must i become so weak without my brother?i hate myself for this!i had to be so stupid as to get swept away!why!?i don't realize that i had begun scratching my wrist,until the girl had grabbed my arm screaming for me to stop.i looked down and saw that the itchy white blanket had a slowly growing red spot,that and the girls own white dress was turning red on the sleeve from where she had grabbed me.

"please,mister!stop!"she screamed upset,tears streaming down her own face.

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!"i look up to see a masked figure with long hair down to his man looked to be about 6'5,his beautiful silvery blue hair twisting around him,his strange mask covered his face completely,it only having two large black spots for his long cloak blew around him,showing off a belt with an impressive amount of weapons strap to it.

even though i can not see his face,his aura tells me,underneath that mask,is a terrifying ,i am scared,scared off a mere !a noah feels his blood pounding in his heart,as if it is a rabbit trapped in a hunter's trap!

he turns his face towards us,noticing the blood from my quickly lifted the child,and told her to go get he sat down in front of me cross legged.i try to scoot my body back away from him,to this he lunged,and roughly grabbed my arms,forcing me on my back as he inspected the damage i had done.

when he turned his face toward me,he pulled his hand back,and back-handed me,he did it so hard my head bounce upon the then he leaned in real close,and yelled"fool!why in the hell would you do this?!"this man was reminding me of the earl,filling me with memories of pain,and causing me to begin to cry again,and on instinct,call for my brother.

this caused the man to hesitate,and to lift himself somewhat off of raised his hand once more,but i prepared myself,i was ready to feel the harsh sting of a slap,so with my eyes squeezed shut,i then,i felt a gentle stroke down my hair,trailing down my cheek,wiping my tears.i slowly opened my eyes when i had begun to hear shushing this man...comforting me...?

i was so confused!one moment he was slapping me,now he doesn't want me to cry?!my mouth began to move without me wanting it to,"y-you not want to hurt dero?"i stuttered figure looked taken aback at the notion that he wanted to cause me harm,and shook his was so close now i could see his face,his one eye was a dark emerald,while the other a light bloody red.

i then notice that the man was looking at me too,searching my eyes for something.i don't know why,but his gaze was burning me.i wanted to get away from the heat,yet i still wanted to be near i remembered that slap,and i am afraid again.i feel myself flinch again as he touches my upper lip,where my stitches were before the earl tore them pauses but continues brushing the spots,as i feel my face heat a deep voice gently asks"What happened to you?"

what was i to tell him?i couldn't tell him about the earl,or the for some reason,i want to...then i realized something...THIS MASKED ASSHOLE WAS STILL ON ME!

i began to squirm,having more memories,memories so bad devi doesn't even know about.i began to panic,crying AGAIN!i was thrashing around,screaming,"GET THE FUCK OFF DERO!DERO WANT'S YOU OFF!GET OFF DERO,NOW!"I wailed,finding that my Noah wasn't responding.i was kicking,and flailing,and punching,then he grabbed my arms again,and was holding me back only scared me more,causing me to buck in an attempt to make him fly off.

the whole time,he didn't simply held me down and waited for me to quiet i was too tired to fight anymore,all i can do is whimper,and beg him,"get off dero,you scaring dero!"i felt my tears leaving tracks down my face,in which he simply responded by using the back of his fist to gently wipe them away,just like their i want is my brother,as i continue to whimper for devi.

he still hadn't moved,he just watched me, seemed to come to a conclusion,in which to my thankfulness,he stood then he picked me,along with the blood stained blanket,up and begin to walk out of the tent.i hadn't realized that i was trembling,until he leaned down towards my ear,and whispered,"calm down 'dero',i am only taking you to get medicine."i continue to tremble,but it at least lessens a little no other option,i snuggle into his chest,and hear a strong beating,being this close to someone,for some reason i don't know,comforts me in such a way,i find myself falling asleep to the steady beat within his chest...

**sooooo,there ya have it! chappie 3 will be up soon!hope ya enjoyed it!**


	3. a helping hand,and kicking ass

yoooo**!this is chappie 3!as the title says,there shall be major as kickerory!bear with me now,i'm still new to this,sooooooo...let's begin!jasdero!disclaimer please!**

**jasdero:...*still napping***

**damn it!i do not own dgm,bc if i did,it would have more jasdevi,and ALOT of yullen scenes! .**

**_** i'm awoken by mister masky,as i'm set down upon a mat.i was inside another tent,this one looking to be made of the same itchy stuff as the 's color a deep purple,with big white designs on it.i looked up at him,still a little suspicious.i tried to call up the courage i had when i had my noah,and failed horribly when i tried to ,i took a breath,and asked,"where mr. masky take dero?"

at first he looked confused,then as realization struck him,he began to chuckle softly,before flopping down on the mat,and reached toward me,causing me to scoot did not seem to appreciate that,and looked as though he was gonna tackle me again,but it looked as though he remembered last time,and he cooled down just began to grip his mask,as though he wanted to grab the bridge of his nose. he reached behind his head,where i guessed his mask tie was,and pulled on the black ribbon, other hand still held his mask to his face,seeming hesitant to remove it.

now i was extremely curious,and anyone will tell you dero +curious= trouble. i paid him back for before,and tackled him,blindly pulling his mask before he out powered me,switching our positions to a annoyingly familiar one,before i actually looked at his say i was stunned,is a understatement.

his face was marred by to long started at his hair line,traveling down over his eyes,then seeming to curve themselves,and X over his then continue down his throat,the rest hidden by his had high cheek bones,and a sweeping nose,with a pointed,slightly feminine jaw short,to me,he was absolutely,indescribably,hot!

i caught myself staring,and averted my now,i was even more curious!i wanted to know his name,and many other stuff!then i noticed was wiping the mud from my face,using a rag he it was my turn to be hesitant.i hate people seeing my 's why,if i ever feel self-conscious,i take my headband off,and use my hair as a veil.i could feel a blush forming,and i was trying to inch away,i really wish he would stop touching me so much!

before anything else could happen,we heard screaming,and loud tramping leapt to our feet,for me albeit i got my bearings,i exited the tent to find complete chaos!

someone the tents were knocked down,and people were i saw the little girl from before,but now she was wearing a blue was running,with a man wearing strange clothes riding a horse hot on her trail.i reacted on instinct.i snatched a six shooter from mr. mask's belt,and i some what comforting explosion was heard,as the man fell from the horse,and the beast ran was slowly covering the ground where the man lay.i didn't get a chance to rejoice in it,because next thing i knew i was rolling on the ground,wrestling with a burly guy dressed similarly to the now dead guy."YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID,YOU WRETCH!"the man screamed as we continued to roll about in the dirt,throwing punches,and delivering harsh kicks to each other's bodies.

then this bitch had to go and be stupid!this bitch tried to cut my hair with his knife!oh,this bitch wanna die,don't he!i felt my grin slowly creep across my face,"hihi!you truly are stupid!you just pissed dero off!"i growled gleefully!then i planted both feet on his chest,and kicked him off,quickly diving on him,and instead of shooting him,i began to beat him with the butt of the gun.i was having so much fun!i loved the adrenaline,loved that for a short time,i could forget all my imperfections,and let loose!i could take my pain out on someone,other than my self,and this bastard inadvertently chose to be my punching bag!then i froze.i looked at the man,at my hands,both a bloody trembling mess.

what have i done?this scene looks so familiar,then i realized.i was now my own nightmare!i'm just like the earl!i fell down,and started scuttling backwards,trying to escape what i had ?!why does this horrify me!i had done so much worse as a noah!then the voices began muttering in the back of my mind,echoing through my skull._monster...demon...evil...devil child!disgusting...beast..._

the voices of my past coming to me,haunting me.i franticily looked about me,and i lost control!i began attacking all the strange men,knocking them from their horses,and fighting them from the ground.i began shooting them,repeatedly running out of ammo,and finding a new gun,or simply taking rocks and aiming for their temples.i would find bows and shoot arrows at the ones still atop their horse,i never even thought about the wounds they kept giving me,making a trail of my own blood upon the ground.i wanted to get rid of the images in my of brother and i when we were small,weak.i continued to fight them,battling like a maniac,until i heard a loud call for retreat,and the cheers of the people,as vision was going black,a small pond of blood forming at my feet,riversof crimson flowing from my injuries.

i began to fall forward,as i barely registered through the ringing in my ears the screaming of a child,they were screaming,saying"he's injured!"as i finally let my mind rest inside the pool of black...

i awoke at the crackling of a fire,and i was covered in bandages.i noticed i was on a mat,and also some one was putting something on the wound on my felt tingly,and smelled sweet.i waited till my eyes stopped doubling,then tried to sit up.

i was stopped by a wrinkly hand on my shoulder."young one,you must rest."said a kindly elder voice.i looked up,and saw a old woman in a simple navy blue reminded me of a pear,and she had medium tan skin,and a white bun,that the rest trailed down her back,she had kind dark brown eyes,and a sweet smile,for some reason,i felt safe with her,like she could have been my grandma!

"where is dero?"i said,she simply patted my head and said,"somewhere safe."she then turned toward the tent flap,then i notice we were in a giant tent!it literally looked like a circus tent!"amaya,please come here a moment!"she hollered,and the little girl from before came in carrying a small basket with bandages and herbs."are you okay mister dero?"she asked,after taking a seat on her knees next to up at me,and then she asked"would you like some help?"at first i was confused,until she pointed at my hair. i saw that it was caked in dried blood,mud,and it had pebbles and sticks tangled in it.i took a moment and decide,eh,why not?"yes dero want help"i said.

not a moment later they both were helping me up,and leading me to a hot spring that was behind some curtains."okay,"said the old woman"strip down!"she got me to freeze,there was absolutely no fucking way i was risking them seeing my elephant!nuh-uh honey!maybe next to never!

"b-but dero is a boy"i said."so,it's not like old granny has never seen one."the old woman said.i was beet red,and still refused to get nude.i mean,come on they were both girls!and one was a little kid!hell no!there was no fudging way,ever!"n-no!dero still a b-boy!g-granny is still a girl,and so is Amaya,so no!"i simply sighed and said"what if we turn around,and wait until you get in the water,then we wouldn't be able to see it,happy now?"i nodded quickly and they turned around.

i quickly undressed,and unwound the bandages,stepping into the water.i allowed myself to sink into it until right below my nose,so now i resembled a hippo!hihi!then i said shakily "y-you can turn around now!"they both turned and began to giggle at the way i was in the water. they sat down by the water,and beckoned me then took out a almond smelling goop,and gentle pushed my head fully under water,and then when i resurfaced,she covered the brush in the goop,and began to run it through my hair.

it felt nice. soon i felt my eyes drooping because of the soothing strokes.i could feel Amaya's little hands picking out the twigs and leaves,as granny undid the knots in my hair.i let out a soft sigh,causing there to be bubbles in the water.i saw the mud and blood temporarily corrupt the water,before fading a bit granny dunked my head under the water a few times,ridding it of the soap,then she used a comb,and some red ribbon,to braid my felt wonderful!i felt nice and clean,for the first time in days!

then i heard foot steps,and granny said"ah,adriano!you can put them over there!"i turned my head and saw mr. masky carrying some bundles of simply nodded,and placed them down on a chest before picking up a black and white bundle and leaving,stopping and staring at me in the eyes for a second before he left. i realized,that bundle he just left with,were my clothes!

before i could voice my complaint,granny put a long velvet robe over me it was soft,and was a pale started scrubbing it to dry me off,before leading me to the bundle."adriano took your clothes to be washed and mended,"she told me"until they're fixed,he said you can borrow some clothes he had out grown a while back."they left me alone to dress,the shirt was far too big for me,and was a turquoise color,with gold criss cross patterns along the hems and neck,and the sleeves were long,a little past my finger tips,and they were shirt stopped right above my knees,and the neck line was touching close to my came pale green legging,that stopped mid calf the rest was met with criss cross lace up leather sandles. last i put on there,was the light leather belt,with a blue floral print.

it wasn't really my style,but it was comfy,and though i don't want to admit it,from granny's gasp and Amaya's clapping,i guess it looked good on me.

i walked out of the tent,and decided to go get some grub,let 's just say,that was a BIG mistake...

okay,so now we know masks name,i apologize if the fight scene was sub par, but hey,first time,hope ya enjoyed this chapter there shall be a decision,and it will also be the TRUE beginning of jasdero's story!

p.s. if anyone is  
wondering,no one knows jasdero's full name,and since he calls himself 'dero,that's what they call him.


End file.
